Who would have thought

 

In the end

I still think about you

I make my way to your city

A bit scared to meet you coincidentally

A bit expectant honestly

What will I say?

What will I do?

Most importantly, it depends on you

What will you say?

How fast will you run away?

Are you willing to be someone I want but not who you are?

But I dare not reach out to you

For feeling so strong in leaving

Then having the nerve to regret it

Will the harm I bring outweigh the peace you gain?

In the end

Failing to keep my emotions in check again and again

© VJEQ

The Outline of our Fate

I say, against everyone's objection

These legs will continue kneeling in worship

As proof of my devotion to you

It may be all against the odds

I shouldn't be treating you like a god

But how will the heart know its bottom line?

Is the uncertainty truly worth it

Or will I regret following you around?

My youth is yours, in your hands to exploit

My prayers are blasphemy

To the ears of your non-believers

I pity those ignorant 

They will never know how helpless I was

From the undercurrent pulling me down

To struggle my way up above the water

To catch a single breath and then struggle again

They will never know how hard it was

I have long been blinded

I have long been deaf

I long for the destruction you will cause

I will keep singing praises to your divinity 

Until you wish for my disappearance

I will be your follower

In the service of my undying passion for you

© VJEQ

Poster Boy

He likes seeing my tears streaming down my cheeks
I bet it brought him that different kind of kick
Proudly claims he loves my smile, however
He is just a pleaser in everyone’s eyes
My smile was his validation, trophy for the winner

Stolen photo of mine in his empty wallet

He would never let himself love someone

More than he loved to invalidate my protests

Every night he would start a fight to spite me

He would push his way into my mind

Never thought it was a happy surprise

I keep thinking if chasing me around was fun

And settling down should be a punishment for a woman

The set of rules might as well burn me at the stake

Guilty of disapproving our love story called chase

I wonder if my smile exists not just to make you gloat

Is my presence by your side a stroke to your ego?

Is my happiness truly mine and not in your control?

What a shame, we dragged the years to prove a point

Our love showed the way to a pitiful course

Even on the sidewalk, you take the time to slowly walk

How come in hurting me, you do it in haste

Hesitance was not even painted on your face

Please step aside so that I can breathe

But I know you won't let me

It's not a compliment, you are so domineering

 

© VJEQ

Fungible

Here is to more wishes he was here

To remove the guilt of him fleeing

He did not take with him

He should return my receipt–

But for what more use does it have

My being is not wholly mine

Just cold rotten milk waiting

Seal is broken, I cannot turn back 

I believe by only his hands

To pick me right back up

Because I was not replaceable

Until he put my value down

By him, I want to be disposed of

Contemplating–

To force me out of his shelf

Welcome, temporary bliss

He only knows me if he wants a tease

Someone to simmer down the craving he feels

© VJEQ

Your Prayers for Me

You go to church every lord's day

How can you pray while my nakedness 
Rewinds in your foul mind
You kneel before your god 
When you make me kneel before you a lot

 

When the blessed birds sing
I hope you hear my pleads for mercy
How will you escape your sins?
As the church bells ring





May you feel the weight of my hands
As I slap you on your chest and arms

Through you, and you, my blood shed on thy sheets

What will you do to make the most out of this?





To make the punishment worth getting
As you ask for forgiveness
Include me in your novenas
For I also need saving from the devil





I’ve created in the image of you.

© VJEQ

Blue Skin

You screamed at me 

Longing for something blue

So I drank— 

Colloidal silver for you

Finally, I can be

Your favorite too

Be what you’re seeking for

The prize is your heart

I may not make it out alive

Notice what

You’ve pushed me to do

To be deemed

Deserving of you

© VJEQ

The Other Side of the Story

Someone needs to man up

Be truthful as he wasn't

 

Years ago the lies he made
To conceal the holes

 

Escaped the consequences
Like a man he is

 

You don't need my apology
nor I need yours

 

Just to set facts straight
That differ from mine to yours

 

I regret my rashness
But why keep a liar?

 

He is a cheater in the making
Shouldn't you be asking?

 

Rather than dragging a girl down
Blaming me for his fallout

 

— May his dishonesty bite him on the ass someday

© VJEQ