We were in each other's flames
And burned out
We believed no one is leaving us
Never not I knew, a thing or two
About leaving you
The lack of noise followed me around
I tried to seek the light of your smile
The high, and enlightenment it gives
But I was already out of reach
Never not I knew, you weren't the one
I tried to reason my way out
To avoid harming your heart
We hoped no one is giving up
But ashes were in your stead
I was the first to step back
Apologies for ruining us
© VJEQ
Have you ever felt like the bathroom is your only safe haven?
For silence is all I wish since space I cannot crave
Same empty eyes looking for a place of comfortable stay
It has been a year of repetitive routines in the morning, noon, and night
I didn't know being hopeful will only get you tearful
Time is against us, am I wrong to leave you and my baggage behind?
Out of my sight and slowly slipping out of my mind
Too heavy to carry around, too tiring to keep the pace up
The walls of the bath are a convenient shoulder to cry on
A wonderful distraction of a running shower, splattering water
'Till then while I wait, I remain alone with mountain of thoughts
Look for me like stick in hay, you are running out of days
Before entering the long tunnel ahead of you, can you find me though?
I am crumbling scratch papers
And wiping my snot with my pink sweater
Staring sadly at my failed goals
From the table of constraints, there is a–
Family photo I want to distance myself from
Apologies to my sweetest lover, even if
I were there with you under the sheets
This will never give you the heat
I feel the chills in my fingertips
As I hold the coveted control in my hand
In the mirror, I see sanity in my tired eyes
I tried to hold back the manic laughter
Seems like a whole new change
The scratches on my throat
I did it in frustration, desperate–
To make an escape for I can’t breathe
Addiction of mine is making a comeback
Another episode of self-destruction
Here is to more wishes he was here
To remove the guilt of him fleeing
He did not take with him
He should return my receipt–
But for what more use does it have
My being is not wholly mine
Just cold rotten milk waiting
Seal is broken, I cannot turn back
I believe by only his hands
To pick me right back up
Because I was not replaceable
Until he put my value down
By him, I want to be disposed of
Contemplating–
To force me out of his shelf
Welcome, temporary bliss
He only knows me if he wants a tease
Someone to simmer down the craving he feels
I am a dead vessel travelling alone in a city
An image of regret, and resentment, there are–
Street lights illuminating in my bloodshot eyes
Down to my lips, to my tear-streaked cheeks
Feels like a movie to reminisce under street lights
How ironic it is to feel blue under my own stars
Cold night and gazes isolate my reality, yet
Heat from the city itself is a comforting embrace
The wind in the bridge whistles silent pleads
It makes me want to jump and be left to drown
I want to watch the moonlight from the under
Let the water envelop me with nothingness
I know someone from here. Worthless but satisfying
A local who took the opportunity to bruise my lips
While my eyes were closed, and consent were loose
Thorns and grief rapidly grew on the cracks of the asphalt in my heart
Where that particular someone could fit right into
Wild grasses and dreams thrived scattered all over the deserted space
And here I am, barely fighting for a place to fill
I took a pill to calm my palpitating heart and feelings
Lean myself back on the clouds, and so did my inklings
Which are pointless
Just as my purpose of life, I am the–
Melancholic affection that seems like it’s everywhere in the city
But every time I try to confront it myself, it fades away
I know it lingers, in deep dark alleys of my mind
Where trash and I can be thrown away carelessly
The feeling may never go away
What is left to me
Is the question of when will you return
Will you ever?
Bring the sunflower back to my garden
Lay with me?
As the meteor shower grants us wishes
Our witness is the night sky
Is there any possibility of you
Mustering the leftover affection
From your heart
This might be silly to ask
Will you say the words 'I love you' again?
For I selfishly don’t want this to die
The greed of not wanting to let you leave
Is occupying my mind
Every single time
Will you tell me?
When you come back
Will it be for the love or your goodbye
You forgot where you put my glasses
After the hours of mischief
Playing robbers and cops, the kisses
Will never let you go, my lifeline
We blame the goldfish, swimming
In the fishbowl silently waiting, scheming
Made you forget where the glasses are
Your version of me sadly deteriorated
In the depth of its fishbowl territory
Our arguments echo through the hall
In its tiny stone castle’s cold floor
Your stolen memories laid bare as a bone
In your bed, we’re trying to dig up
Important memories you must’ve misplaced
In your stay to the dreamscape
This could be romantic, if and only if–
I can pull you out of this situation
You’d be warming my hands, supposedly
But wiping tears on your face, regrettably
You are like, I love– who?
You don’t know what I am crying for
Forgot why you’ve loved me before
Desperation weighs more than my beliefs
Let my tears be the offering to the gods
You’ve become like an air bubble
Empty of recognition, I am now a stranger
It’s fine if my glasses stay missing
If the condition is, you are found
To be deemed
Someone needs to man up
Be truthful as he wasn't
Years ago the lies he made
To conceal the holes
Escaped the consequences
Like a man he is
You don't need my apology
nor I need yours
Just to set facts straight
That differ from mine to yours
I regret my rashness
But why keep a liar?
He is a cheater in the making
Shouldn't you be asking?
Rather than dragging a girl down
Blaming me for his fallout
